Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
