shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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