I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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