I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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