week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have feelings that need drinking.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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