you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my shit smells like andre
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
