There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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