very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
