What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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