I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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