AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
