Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's when you crack a 10am beer
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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