I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
