Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Where is the hickey?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
