When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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