Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
