I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
