i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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