It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have tasted many bathrooms
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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