We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
