I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
tell me about the eggs
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