people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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