he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
