I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
