Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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