even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
