Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
