My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
