I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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