she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
