So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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