the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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