My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
