Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
