hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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