it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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