when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
