Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
