Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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