Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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