Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
