Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
