Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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