its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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