Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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