Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
