Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
