OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
