all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
