honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
sex in a hospital.. check
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize