He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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