Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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