belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I lost the right to judge tonight
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
