try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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