So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize