Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
wakey wakey hands off snakey
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
