gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She just used a chaser for red wine.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
