He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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