we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
