i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize